by Colin Fisher
Karl really loved his work as an engineer. His employer expected forty hours per week of Karl’s time; but, Karl gave nearly twice that many hours of his time each week. Unfortunately, Karl’s wife, Betty, was quite unhappy with Karl’s behavior. She said, “I married you because I wanted to spend my life with you; but, all you do now is spend more time at work. This deal is no good for me. If you don’t shape up, it’s Bye-Bye Buster.”
Karl was torn by his wife’s attitude. He truly loved Betty as well as his work. “Betty,” he said, “I shall truly find a way to spend more time with you while I continue to do a bang up job at the office.”
“You damn well better,” Betty said, “I can’t put up with you much longer.”
Karl was walking to the office when he passed a shop window. In the window he saw a black box with lots of lights, knobs, dials and a loudspeaker. What’s that, Karl thought. He turned into the shop and spoke to the proprietor. “What’s that thing in the window?” he said.
The shopkeeper smiled and said, “That, Sir, is going to revolutionize the way that many people work. When you are in the office, you keep the Wizard on a table near your desk and, when you need some information, just speak to it. Eventually, the Wizard will learn the categories of information that are important to you and will automatically explore the World Wide Web to obtain that kind of information and place it in its internal memory. Also, it is a desktop calculator that is verbally accessed.”
Karl was really impressed. “Why, if I had a machine like that at work I could be much more effective and this would make me more available to be home with the family. How much does this gadget cost?”
The shopkeeper smiled and said, “Sir, I am pleased to see that you are a person of such excellent judgment. Today, I can make a special price for you if you will promise to tell your fellow workers about the Wizard when you are pleased with it within the next few weeks; and, I know that you will be mighty pleased.”
Karl got out his credit card and bought the Wizard as well as the accessory small carriage used to wheel the Wizard about. He immediately set out for his office where he made a place on a table for the Wizard. Soon he found that the Wizard was useful beyond his wildest dreams. Karl loved the Wizard. His office mates were also quite impressed with the utility of the Wizard.
Despite the success of the Wizard, Karl’s hours at the office did not decrease. In fact, they increased because he had become entranced with the use of the Wizard and the value of the information that it made immediately available for Karl’s use. “Damn, I really love that machine (that he called Blinky),” Karl said, “I really hate to leave the office and go home.”
That evening Betty confronted Karl, “Okay, Buster, you have had it. Tomorrow I shall visit a divorce attorney to prepare for your farewell.” At this point Karl suddenly realized that his life, as he knew it, was close to disaster. He had to do something!
The next day, at the office, Karl decided to consult Charley Okrent. Charley was well-known by all the workers as a person with extensive experience in dealing with people, rather than in things (like Karl did). Charley said, “If your marriage is so important to you, you must save it and don’t waste any time doing it. You must do the following. Set an absolute limit of eight hours per day at work. When you arrive at work in the morning, set an alarm clock to sound eight hours later. Call your wife at home and tell her you are taking her out to dinner tonight at some fine restaurant. Buy her some beautiful flowers on your way home and don’t be cheap! When you take her to dinner swear that you will only spend not more than eight hours per day at work. If she loves you at all, she will give you at least one more chance.
“After all, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know!”
© Colin Fisher 2010
This entry was posted by cfisher on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 6:08 am and is filed under Theme of the Month.
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Hey Colin – I finally get to comment on Blinky! Wonderful piece. I’m going to wallpaper the house with it
And I do think Leunig could make something of it!
Thanks Tuesday. I don’t know Leunig; but, perhaps you are referring to a leunigtic?
This puts me in mind of an ancient song by the group called “The Mamas and the Papas.” One of their most popular renditions was entitled “Monday, Monday.”
Well, let’s learn to sing “Tuesday, Tuesday!”
Colin