September 2010 Issue 102

by Colin Fisher

Maggie glared at her husband, “George, sit up and look smart; have I got a message for you?”

George belched and spoke from a wreath of cigar smoke, “What’s up, Maggie, why do you always disturb me when I am meditating? You know that these quiet moments that I take for my self are the main cause of my great intellect.” George suppressed another belch and spit out a small piece of tobacco that had lodged between his front teeth. “OK, Maggie, what do you want from me now?”

Maggie came over and sat next to George on the couch and went on, “George, today I registered us for a dance class. We are going to learn to tango. I have always wished to increase my natural allure for the benefit of all sentient beings. The tango is a perfect vehicle for this. It has Latin rhythms, it has sensual motions and it provides me an excuse to wear the kinds of exciting clothing that are suggested by my youthful and lithe figure.”

“Fat and sloppy you mean,” said George, “your youthful and lithe figure has become extinct like the dodo birds.”

Maggie flashed George a decidedly evil grin, “Well, George, you are no Michael Phelps. The last time you weren’t overweight was when you had the stomach flu and couldn’t keep any food down for three weeks!” The two antagonists silently stared at each other for about five minutes. This peaceful interlude was interrupted by George’s lighting another cigar.

“Phew,” said Maggie, ‘”those damn cigars not only stink; but, they often burn a hole in the upholstery. In any case, George, you are going dancing with me or I will destroy all of your cigars and pour all of your gin down the kitchen drain.”

A peaceful decision was soon reached by all. George acquiesced and agreed that they would go dancing the tango together just as long as it didn’t interfere with his standing date to play snooker with the boys. Maggie immediately accessed the internet to search for a beautiful dress that would be the pride of any serious, female tango dancer. And, of course, she would need some new shoes. George said that he could use his old bowling shoes because they were manufactured in Brazil and would definitely have the needed Latin panache. He also promised that he would visit the shop of Harry the Hatter to see what kind of headgear might be available that would be appropriately worn by a wealthy, Brazilian plantation owner.

As the time for the first dance class drew near, Maggie approached George and suggested (rather strongly) that they do a little rehearsing before they appeared in public; much like that done by any serious performer. She had also purchased several CD’s of tango music.

The next evening, while Maggie was watching television, George came down the stairs and approached her, “Well, Maggie, its time for a dress rehearsal. Let’s make the most of it and get it over with as soon as possible.” Maggie jumped up, shut off the TV and ran upstairs to change into her lovely new clothing. George was placing one of the CD’s in the stereo player. They stood face-to-face; each dressed in his or her fineness. The music played rhythmically, they embraced and made dance-like motions that might be considered tango-like. The next time they wore the clothing was on the first evening of the dance class.

Clad in their finest, Maggie and George arrived at the dance class along with about twenty, other couples. After a brief burst of tango music, the instructor appeared and, with a dance partner, whirled around the floor to demonstrate the proper approach to the tango.

Then it was time for the students to perform. George and Maggie tangoed around the floor with George moving forward while Maggie mostly moved to her rear. The instructor approached them and said, “It is important for the tango that the man sometimes moves to his rear. Please try it.”

Maggie and George danced as instructed and George immediately fell and landed on his head. When he finally awakened he said, “You can’t have it both ways!”

© Colin Fisher 2010

This entry was posted by cfisher on Monday, March 1st, 2010 at 12:00 am and is filed under Theme of the Month. You can be notified of any comments on this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment in the box at the bottom of the post.

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